Saying Goodbye… again…

28 Nov

I caught this girl watching the storm come in the other day

During my last few days in Livingston, there were storms brewing, rain falling, and great thunder clouds rolling in.  I was leaving again, saying goodbyes, having my “last this” and my “last that.”  The dark clouds perfectly reflected my lugubrious mood and my anxiety over my future.  It felt like my last week in Mexico all over again (or my last week in Thailand or my last week in Argentina or my last week in California).  While I was only in Livingston for three months, and I was in Mexico for 14, it was still hard saying goodbye to all my friends.  I feel like in many ways the past few years have been a plethora of farewells, despedidas, and plane rides.

Here I am, leaving again, saying goodbye to all the friends I have worked so hard to make over the past few months, soaking up my last view of the ocean from my porch, drinking my last Guatemalan coffee, and all the while wracked with anxiety about what will happen to me when I go home.  I’m jobless, broke, and not sure what exactly I want to do with my life.  I’ve written earlier about my mid-twenties crisis, and my desire for a little more stability and a little less traveling, and I have to say that I’m very tempted to start applying for office jobs in DC.  But after so many years of running around the globe, studying in Mexico, climbing volcanoes in Chile, teaching refugees in Thailand and pouring wine in Santa Cruz, I wonder if I can really handle going to the same building and sitting at the same desk every day.  I also wonder if I can handle living in the consumerist capital of the world after so many years in developing countries.

My time in Guatemala has been wonderful, and my job has been fascinating, challenging, and enlightening.  I am grateful for the opportunity I had to live and work in such a unique place, and I hope that one day I can return to La Buga and visit all the friends I made.  In the meantime, I’m ready for a new chapter to begin in my life, and I’m eager to find out just what will happen in the next few months.


One Response to “Saying Goodbye… again…”

  1. dad December 7, 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    welcome back!!

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